I suppose a proper welcome is in order for those of you just making your way here today in the wake of my email to everybody in the world about this here blog. Welcome! Thanks for reading.
And now (drum roll, please), my first real post.
This morning while signing a release form two things occurred to me. The first was that I feel like I have spent the last several months of my life doing nothing but signing releases. In this over-litigated culture, we have release forms for everything, constantly protecting our asses from lawsuit by having people sign pieces of paper.
The other thing I noticed, as I put down the date, was that today is the 24th of August. I leave for Israel (not sure that one’s quite clicked in my head yet) on the 28th. I have four days left here in reality. I mean Austin. I mean… I haven’t started packing yet! Knowing me I won’t do any real packin until Sunday afternoon. Sunday, of course, being the 27th. The departure date, once again, being the 28th.
I have felt like I’m in a constant state of saying goodbye since May. I went to my school’s graduation. I said goodbye to them. I left for camp. I had to say goodbye to everybody before I left. Then, before I knew it, camp was almost over. I had to say goodbye to everone at camp. Since then, I’ve been in a constant state of telling people why I’m not in school. Then they want to say… (you get three guesses and the first two don’t count)… GOODBYE! I got back from camp a month ago. Since the moment I got back everbody wants a hug goodbye all time on the off-chance that I don’t see them again before I leave. On top of it all, a number of my closest friends are going a way to college. Again, goodbyes must be said and hugged.
Then, when it’s time to come home, I’ll have to say goodbye to everyone in Israel. Then I’ll come home, say hello for a while, then go away to college myself and have to go through this whole damn routine again!
When I tell people I’m going to Israel, there are three possible responses. If you thought yours was original, you were wrong, because there were really only these three what follow. The first is a blank stare or complete lack of interest, which scientists have yet to develop a response for. The second is (usually from another Jew) “Wow! That’s great” or something similar in not so many words.
The third, and most important for this post, is “Oh my God! Don’t you know there’s a war on!” or “You’re still going to do that? Are you nuts? I though you’d come to your senses evetually!” My personal favorite from this category, and more common than you’d think, a deadpan recitation of “Don’t come back in a casket, alright?”
To put your mind at ease, I shall illustrate the situation with this crudely rendered map (Amanda Wright, eat your heart out), which was made in the highly verastile program known as Microsoft Paint, which you see at the right. I know the text has turned out to be fairly useless. Perhaps I’ll ignore the map and get on with my attempt at putting your mind at ease. The point is that I am staying FAR AWAY from rockets. There is currently (thank God) a cease fire that seems to be tenuously holding itself together so the danger is fairly lessened. I believed that on the U.S. color-coded terror level indicator, Israel may have gone down from Plaid to Mauve, if that tells you anything. (If, by the way, the color-coded terror level thing has ever had any real meanin to you, you should check into a mental institution. Now.)
Point being, don’t worry. I will be fine and I will be far away from rockets, death, etc. If anybody should be worried, its me. And I’m not. So you should cut it ou too.
Goonight. See you later. Same Bat-time. Same Bat-channel.
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